6/19/2025
In the Old Testament, the concept of wives submitting to their husbands is often implied through narrative rather than directly commanded in the way it is in the New Testament. Ancient Hebrew culture was patriarchal, and the husband was typically the head of the household. However, many biblical stories show nuanced dynamics in marriages—sometimes with submission, and other times with women influencing or even correcting their husbands.
Here are several notable examples:
1. Sarah and Abraham
Genesis 18 & 1 Peter 3:6
“…Sarah obeyed Abraham and called him her lord…” (1 Peter 3:6)
- Sarah follows Abraham as he obeys God’s call to leave their homeland (Genesis 12).
- She refers to Abraham with honor and deference (Genesis 18:12).
- However, Sarah also speaks up—she tells Abraham to send Hagar and Ishmael away (Genesis 21:10), and God affirms her counsel (Genesis 21:12): “Listen to whatever Sarah tells you…”
Takeaway: Sarah is often cited as a model of respectful submission, but also as a woman whose voice mattered.
2. Rebekah and Isaac
Genesis 24–27
- Rebekah agrees to marry Isaac and travels far from home without seeing him first (Genesis 24).
- She respects Isaac’s role as husband—but she also takes initiative in guiding the outcome of God’s prophecy by helping Jacob receive Isaac’s blessing instead of Esau (Genesis 27).
Takeaway: Rebekah shows traditional submission in some ways, but also exercises strong agency when she believes she is acting in alignment with God’s plan.
3. Rachel and Jacob / Leah and Jacob
Genesis 29–31
- Rachel and Leah both enter marriages where Jacob has dominant status, yet both express opinions and concerns.
- Rachel steals her father’s household gods when Jacob flees from Laban (Genesis 31), and Jacob curses the thief—not knowing it was her.
Takeaway: These stories show complex family dynamics. Rachel and Leah are not portrayed as passive, but their social positions as wives are clearly under their husband’s authority.
4. Hannah and Elkanah
1 Samuel 1–2
- Hannah is deeply distressed about her infertility and prays fervently at the temple.
- Elkanah tries to comfort her and speaks tenderly, suggesting a mutual affection and some authority.
- Yet Hannah makes a vow to God without first asking her husband—and Elkanah affirms it afterward (1 Samuel 1:23): “Do what seems best to you.”
Takeaway: Hannah respects her husband but exercises personal spiritual initiative, which is honored.
5. Abigail and Nabal
1 Samuel 25
- Abigail, the wise and discerning wife of the foolish Nabal, acts without his knowledge to prevent David from taking revenge.
- She humbles herself before David, showing both tact and courage. After Nabal’s death, David marries her.
Takeaway: While she technically goes behind her husband’s back, the narrative clearly praises her wisdom and initiative—indicating that submission doesn’t mean blind loyalty to a foolish or unrighteous spouse.
Conclusion
Old Testament examples show a spectrum:
- Yes, wives often submitted to their husbands in line with the patriarchal norms of the time.
- But many women exercised strong moral agency, sometimes correcting or overruling their husbands when necessary—and were blessed for it.
Biblical submission in the OT is more about honor, cooperation, and relational roles, not unquestioning obedience. It leaves room for wisdom, strength, and spiritual discernment.
Jared’s Comments
Many people in our modern society understandably dislike the word submission. For some, it implies unrighteous dominion or subjugation on the part of the husband, or unthinking obedience on the part of the wife. But this is not what it means. I think that in many cases, some better words might be “defer, help, support, or sustain.” In short, wives should be helpful, supportive, and sustaining of their husbands. They should be loyal and cooperative.
No man in his right mind wants a stupid, witless, silly wife. He wants a wise, witty, and appropriately assertive wife. A wise husband hopes his wife will help him make better decisions and avoid doing anything foolish. He hopes she will speak up and give him good counsel. And in extreme cases, he will need her to take charge and steer the ship when he is clearly unable to do so.
We all tend to have occasional fits of insanity. A good spouse will help you get out of that. This is a two-way street.
What men really do not want in a wife is a woman who willfully disregards his counsel or teachings and just does whatever she likes. He does not want a wife who treats marriage like an early retirement. He does not want a wife who manipulates him, disparages him, or humiliates him. And he really does not want a wife who threatens to divorce him and take away everything he has.
In recent years, many men have decided to opt out of marriage entirely. They often do this because they have seen too many examples of prima donna princess wives who decide that marriage is just a short-cut to retirement, where they can just do anything they want, including subjugating their husbands and making their husbands’ lives a living hell.
It is the disposition of most women to take everything they can get, do their own thing, and just walk off when they do not get their way. I know that’s quite harsh. But it’s true. This is why Eve had no qualms about eating the forbidden fruit to get what she wanted. And this is why God told her afterwards that in sorrow she would conceive and that her husband would rule over her. And by the way, this is a blessing, not a curse or a punishment. It’s a blessing men don’t get. Men are charged with figuring things out, taking the lead, and making everything work for everyone in their entire household. Men don’t get to have anyone provide for them or tell them what to do. Women should be far more grateful for the situation God has placed them in.
Obstinate wives are foolish. Wise wives will do everything they can to encourage, support, sanctify, and follow their husbands appropriately. As I’ve said before, the best thing a wife can do for herself is to empower and improve her husband. Likewise, the best thing a husband can do is to empower and improve his wife. It’s a two-way street. However, it’s impossible to make this work when wives are too proud and obstinate to allow it.
GREATER LIGHT AND TRUTH 
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