10/06/2025 .

Introduction

One of the greatest tests of maturity and character is how an individual responds to suggestions for improvement, feedback, and constructive criticism. For most people, correction is unbearable. Even mild feedback can cause them to collapse into hurt feelings, defensiveness, or even anger. Instead of treating critique as a gift of love, many interpret it as a hateful personal attack. This tendency reflects self-defeating fragility, insecurity, and a profound lack of emotional maturity.

Yet, the ability to receive criticism calmly and constructively is a mark of strength, humility, and wisdom. It is not weakness to be corrected; it is weakness to resist correction. To grow, we must cultivate the toughness required to welcome feedback, even when it stings, and to see it as a tool of refinement rather than humiliation.

The Thin-Skinned Society

We live in an age where extreme emotional sensitivity is celebrated and where the greatest social sin seems to be “offending” another person. In such a climate, an honest critique becomes nearly impossible. People interpret even the gentlest correction as “hateful,” “hurtful,” or “toxic.” This hypersensitivity erodes meaningful dialogue, prevents growth, and fosters a culture of fragile egos.

The Book of Proverbs warns against this tendency: “Rebuke a wise man, and he will love thee: Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be yet wiser: teach a just man, and he will increase in learning.”[1] In contrast, the fool resents correction, resists improvement, and willfully remains trapped in ignorance.

Pride, Ego, and Emotional Thinking

At the root of such thin-skinned behavior is pride. Pride blinds us to our faults, making us incapable of considering seemingly adverse possibilities. The proud man says, “How dare you correct me?” or “Don’t you know who I am?” But such a response is nothing more than ego masquerading as strength. In reality, it is weakness—an inability to confront one’s own flaws.

Emotional thinking, too, clouds judgment. Instead of hearing the substance of the criticism, people filter it through emotion: “They don’t like me. They’re attacking me. They’re trying to hurt me. They’re rejecting me.” When feelings dictate our perception, truth is lost, and the opportunity for growth is squandered.

The Apostle Paul urged believers to abandon childishness in thinking: “Brethren, be not children in understanding: howbeit in malice be ye children, but in understanding be men.”[2] True adulthood demands rational engagement with criticism, not petulant outrage.

The Necessity of Emotional Toughness

Life itself is a constant process of refinement. Every mistake, every failure, every piece of criticism can sharpen us if we are willing to endure discomfort, or humble and honest reflection, especially with the added bonus of constructive criticism from a friend who is genuinely trying to help you.

Just as steel is tempered by fire, so the soul is tempered by correction.

Emotional toughness means being able to separate our worth as a person from the criticism of our actions. A correction of one’s thinking, feeling, or behavior is not an indictment of identity or diminishing of self-worth. When we understand this distinction, we can receive feedback without resentment.

In the Book of Mormon, Alma exemplified this principle. When rebuked by the angel for his rebellion, Alma did not harden his heart but allowed the experience to humble him: “I was racked with eternal torment… but I cried within my heart: O Jesus, thou Son of God, have mercy on me… and behold, I was harrowed up by the memory of my sins no more.”[3] Criticism, even divine rebuke, became the pathway to repentance, humility, and transformation.

The Willingness to Be Corrected

The truly wise not only accept correction but also actively seek it. They recognize their limitations and welcome the perspectives of others to reveal blind spots. Rather than reacting defensively, they listen, evaluate, and adjust.

This attitude reflects both humility and courage. The humble man admits he is not perfect; the courageous man dares to face uncomfortable truths. Together, these qualities form the foundation of greatness.

It is often in confrontation with what challenges or contradicts us that we are forced to re-examine, refine, and strengthen our beliefs and behaviors. These are opportunities for improvement and increased happiness, not spiteful attacks that should be resisted and scorned.

Moving Beyond Fragility

We need to learn to move beyond hypersensitivity by advancing in maturity, becoming receptive and tolerant of constructive criticism and opposing opinions. We need to learn how to have mature conversations.

Families, churches, workplaces, and communities cannot thrive where everyone must tiptoe around fragile egos or personalities that can’t or won’t tolerate conflicting opinions. Progress demands honest dialogue, constructive correction, and the courage to speak—and to receive—the truth.

Jordan Peterson observes: “In order to be able to think, you have to risk being offensive.” If truth is sacrificed on the altar of sensitivity, we doom ourselves to perpetual ignorance, weakness, and stagnation.

The wise understand that criticism is not their enemy. Pride, ego, willful ignorance, and emotional fragility are the enemies. Criticism is the scalpel of growth—sometimes sharp, sometimes painful, but always necessary.

The Paradox of Christian Beliefs

Many who profess to love Jesus Christ speak longingly of His Second Coming and the establishment of a Zion society — a holy people living in unity, purity, and love. They sing hymns about His return and pray for His kingdom to come. Yet, tragically and paradoxically, few are willing to endure the chastening and purification that would make such a society possible.

It is easy to desire the glory of Zion; it is far harder to endure the refining fire required to build it. The scriptures are clear that the Lord’s people must be “tried even as Abraham”[4] and “purified and made white” through suffering and obedience.[5] Zion cannot be established by the unrefined, the proud, or the emotionally fragile. It can only be built by those who have learned to submit fully to the will of God, even when His will wounds their pride or exposes their sin.

Many Christians say they love Jesus — but what they truly love is the idea of a gentle, non-demanding Jesus who comforts but never corrects, who soothes but never disciplines, who approves but never rebukes. The real Christ, however, declared: “As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten.”[6] To love Christ, therefore, is to love correction. To follow Him is to submit to refinement.

Those who cannot endure rebuke cannot endure His presence. For when He comes again, He will not flatter or indulge; He will purify. As Malachi prophesied: “But who may abide the day of his coming? … For he is like a refiner’s fire, and like fullers’ soap: and he shall sit as a refiner and purifier of silver.”[7] The very Christ whom many profess to adore will, in truth, terrify those who have resisted His chastening, for they will not recognize Him as the meek Lamb but as the holy Refiner.

Zion cannot be populated by the unteachable, the easily offended, or the self-righteous. It will be populated by those who have learned to welcome correction, to repent quickly, and to receive chastisement as evidence of divine love. Those who cannot bear correction now would not endure His correction then.

Thus, the call to every Christian is this: if you truly desire Zion, begin by desiring correction. If you truly long for Christ’s return, begin by allowing Him to return first into your heart — not as a comforting presence only, but as a sanctifying fire. For only the chastened can build Zion, and only the refined can abide the day of His coming.

Conclusion

The measure of a man (or a woman) is not how he reacts when praised, but how he responds when corrected. To grow, we must develop emotional toughness, humility, and the rationality to engage criticism without fear or outrage.

Those who harden their hearts against correction will remain brittle, weak, and corrupt. But those who embrace correction will grow strong, resilient, and wise. As the Lord Himself declared: “As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent.”[8]

Criticism, then, is not an attack but a gift. The wise accept it. The foolish resent it. And in the end, it is the difference between stagnation and growth, folly and wisdom, weakness and strength, evil and goodness.

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[1] Proverbs 9:8–9

[2] 1 Corinthians 14:20

[3] Alma 36:12, 18–19

[4] Doctrine and Covenants 101:4

[5] Daniel 12:10

[6] Revelation 3:19

[7] Malachi 3:2–3

[8] Revelation 3:19

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